Hobbit-ish Feelings

                    

                         -- Hobbit-ish Feelings --


  So, we all know that it's completely normal to identify with characters in books you're reading (& it means you've found a great book!);  to have those "Wow, I totally do that..." and "I know exactly how that feels" moments pop out at you as you get pulled into the story -- at which point you feel like that character is basically you if you were in a different place at a different time, written beautifully on published pages.


                
                                                     The Wild Swans - book-cut sculpture by Su Blackwell 

  And then there is another kind of identifying-with-a-character that happens only a very few times to each of us, and isn't always very flattering;  not at all what you'd like to believe about your "brave and adventurous" self.  (you know, gallivanting through a mysterious forest astride a mighty steed, sword in hand, cloak billowing out behind you, on your way to rescue whomever it is that needs rescuing this time... That sort of thing.)


  No, this would be the character you'd honestly have to name if I asked you what story character you were most like out of everything you've ever read.  Not who you hope you're most like or who you aim to be most like;  not even your favorite character in literature.  But who you're really, honestly, even embarrassingly, most like.


  Yeah, that one.


  Ouch.


  Well, if I were to answer that question myself, I would have to say that I'm most like Tolkien's well-known little hobbit, Mr. Bilbo Baggins.
                    

  "Now wait just a minute!"  you're thinking.  "So you can pick an adventurous character who does great, daring deeds, but you're gonna make me pick someone unflattering?!"

  No, I'm really not.  Stick with me for a second.


  First of all, I mean that I'm most like Mr. Baggins in personality and in responses to situations, not that I regularly kill giant spiders, sneak invisibly out of goblin caves, make up clever riddles to exchange with dragons and strange underground creatures, or perform other daring deeds with great bravery.  Not at all.  In fact, usually not even close!  (Besides - I love Colorado, but it's terribly lacking in both good and bad dragon populations.)


  Though I'd often greatly prefer that I had the determination and skill of a dwarf or the wisdom of a long-lived elf or other such characters, I find that I am indeed a comfortable, Shire-dwelling hobbit at heart;


  I love to go and listen to stories of brave people doing incredible things in far-off lands, but if a wondering Wizard comes to my door inviting me on an adventure, I'm quick to respond that he's looking in the wrong place.  No indeed, people of this neighborhood are dependable, quite folk who don't get mixed up in messy adventure-going.  Besides, those uncomfortable things do make you terribly late for dinner!

  I'd much rather retreat to my well-stocked pantry with a nice cup of tea, thank you very much.

  Yes, I find that my Took-ish side is stirred to action sometimes, when I long to 'go and see the great mountains, and hear the pine-trees and the waterfalls, and explore the caves, and wear a sword instead of a walking-stick.'  Those times when my dreams and passions come alive with inspiration and I see something of what they are poised accomplish in God's beautifully composed plan.


  ...But then I remember the things that have to be conquered first, the impossibilities of my own strength, and how far away my dreams feel sometimes -- and I am 'very quickly...plain Mr. Baggins of Bag-End, Under-Hill, again.'


  In 'A Hobbit Devotional' by Ed Strauss, the author asks a thought provoking question:
             'At times, potent anxiety keeps us from attempting great things.  Deep-buried
                fears, however laughable they seem in the light of day, can paralyze us—
                unless we overcome them...
             ...What is your quest?  What fears hold you back from launching out?
                Are you willing to believe God and overcome those fears? '
  And later;
            ' 'How long are you going to wait before taking possession of the
                remaining land the Lord... has given to you?'  (Joshua 18:3 NLT)  That's a
                question that could be asked of many of us today: If God has given you a
                dream, if He's made promises to you, how long are you going to wait
                before you have the faith to go in and possess what He's given you?
             ...Perhaps God has put a dream in your heart... but there are many
                obstacles in the way, and you know you will have to endure real hardships
                before your dream becomes a reality.  And so you put it off...  You mean to
                get to it someday, but setting out on such a quest seems daunting and the
                possibility of failure seems high— you want to tame as many risks and
                dangers as possible before you set out.
             ...Yes, you must plan carefully... But at some point, your plans and
                preparations will be done, and then it will be time to head out "in spite
                of the dangers."
             Are you ready to head out and claim your dream?'


  So I am trying to learn to let my 'Took-ish side' and my 'Baggins side' work together;  not just use one and flip-flop to the other and back again.  And to trust God to lead me where He has for me, like only He can do.  I know He's trustworthy, and I know nothing is impossible that He has planned, but I still hesitate, and feel like hiding in my pantry when an opportunity seems daunting or overwhelmingly life-altering.


  I'm working on that (even more so currently with some big-ish decisions that need to be made) -- but I still feel like I'll find myself falling on the floor if something really scares me, calling out "Struck by lightning! Struck by lightning!"  And yes, that's certainly all anyone can get out of me for quite a while in those situations, until I have a chance to calm myself and get my wits about me.


  But while I may 'continue to have second thoughts (and third, fourth, fifth, and sixth thoughts) as [Bilbo] was, after all, being tested to the limits of  his endurance...'  I hope that I'll be able to say that '...Mr. Baggins changed ' [from 'A Hobbit Devotional'] again and again for the better;  that I am becoming quite a different hobbit, and that my trust in God's ability (not my own) and my willingness to step out in faith is growing stronger as the quest wears on.  That adventures may be still uncomfortable, but I'm not afraid of them anymore.


                    

  'I have chosen Mr. Baggins and that ought to be enough for all of you.

             ...There is a lot more in him than you guess,
                and a deal more than he has any idea of himself. '
                                                                                                               --Gandalf, 'The Hobbit'




  So, what character in literature are you really most like?


  What does that tell you about the areas you need to grow in?


  Where can you trust God more and start moving forward on your quest, the dream He's dreamed for you?


     ...No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagined what God has planned for those who love Him.
                                                                                                   1 Corinthians 2:9