Do we mean what we say?

  I've been thinking through and working on this in preparation for the Fidele Youth Dance Company 2020 season as a devotional that's been weighing on my heart.  We're embarking on a 2-part show, with the first half being Ruth's story, and the second half Esther's.  I thought I'd share this here before I get to share it with all our beautiful dancers.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Yeah, it’s where the fight begins; 

yeah, underneath the skin. 

Between these hopes and where we’ve been, 

every fight comes from the flight within. 

I am war inside, 

I am the battle line, 

I am the rising tide,

 I am the war I fight. 

...Ain’t no killer like pride, 

no killer like I, 

no killer like what’s inside. 

...I am the war inside.”

                    (—Switchfoot, ‘The War Inside’)

  We know all the right phrases.  Our mind often agrees with them and WANTS them to be true for us...  It even tries to convince us that wanting them badly enough equals having or mastering them. 

But if we get down to it, truly our heart and soul and emotions either don’t really care, or are outright pushing against those same things. 

  This is sadly most often the case when we say “it’s all about telling a story we can, together” or “I do this because I want to really impact the audience”.  We may want, more than anything, for that to be true. But if we really examined our thoughts and the deep corners in our hearts, we would often be shocked at what we find really lives down there...hiding behind something else, or dressed up and disguised as something spiritual.

  Much of the time, what’s really behind our using and wanting to believe ourselves saying those phrases, is truly two parts of the same thing:

1 — Wanting to be sure everyone knows that we’re really together and could be admired for our very spiritual motives.

  and

2 — The belief, deep down, that we are really the one who understands best, and can do the best job with, whatever we’re focused on and want most.

Those two things both spring from one root thing: 

      Pride

  Stephen Kendrick describes pride as: what happens when we absorb praise ourselves, instead of filtering any praise we receive through ourselves and back out to the One who “makes all things beautiful in their time". 

Praise poisons us if we keep it ourselves, or if we pretend to give it away, or pretend to not accepted by saying all the right things, and convincing our own mind that it won’t bother us.  That, by not actively seeking it, it won’t spoil us from the inside. 

But man was not made to handle praise.  Only by actively placing it in the hands of God can it rest in Someone that will not be poisoned by it.

  As C.S. Lewis puts it:

 “It is no good asking God with the fastidious earnestness for A when our whole mind is really filled with a desire for B.  We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us.” 

  And 

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”
 (emphasis mine)

  This kind of a real humility, of not just saying the right things, but getting of yourself to actually mean them (whether anyone else sees or recognizes), of thinking of yourself less, is exactly what Ruth did.  And why God blessed her in the end.

  It would have been the easiest thing in the world to cry with Naomi, to comfort and encourage her with all kinds a perfect words and blessings for her future…Maybe even give her some money and supplies as she goes off into her new widowed life…… And then for Ruth to go back about her own life, having convinced herself that she done a great thing for Naomi. But as we know, Ruth instead chose to be destitute, having nothing and being nothing, in order to (honor and) care for her mother-in-law.

  Ruth proved to be very like a real Cinderella; working hard and faithfully and with a sweet, humble spirit, when she easily could’ve gotten more recognition and safety for herself. And as a result, in the end she is seen for the treasure she is, and gets her own “Happily ever after”. 

  In a similar way, Esther never seeks to promote herself, or take the moments that come to her into her own hands. She is in a position of some leadership, but she’s not jumping up to “be a leader“.  Trying to “be a leader“ really just leads to a dead-end with pride.  Instead, Esther sought and listened to wise counsel, laid matters prayerfully before the Lord, and then lead by bravely doing what she knew she needed to do, even at the expense of her position, even her own safety.  It was her humility and gentle, brave approach that caused the king to sit up and take notice. 

  That’s also how Jesus lead.  Not saying things (or even doing them) just because they’re the “right“ things to say, or you want them to be true without the work and changing of your heart to make them true.  Working toward greater humility, not greater leadership, is the ultimate strength.

“So many leaders; You ask for followers; 

so keep on leading, ‘cause You’re my Father.”

                            (—Tenth Avenue North, ‘What You Want’)

  This is our challenge: we are not to try to be leaders, but we should be trying to walk more and more in step with Jesus — then He may use us as leaders, because others will be able to follow us towards Him, instead of us leading them in whatever way we think they should go. Having the humility not to care if anyone sees, or is following us, or thinks we’re right or inspiring, because instead, we’ve “fixed our eyes on Jesus”, and He is all that matters to us.

  This is exactly the place where the Pharisees in Jesus day stumbled. 

  It’s not that they were bad people who just didn’t like Jesus. They fell into a trap of their own making. But they had spent all their lives learning and working on exactly the right and most spiritual things to say and do, and how to be the most righteous they could be, and really hoped to inspire and lead others to do the same. 

  Those really are all pretty good things in many ways…  But then they couldn’t find the forest with all these trees in the way.  They convinced themselves that since they were doing or thinking things in the right ways, they “had it covered“. And completely left out the most important part: 

    seeking, loving, and following God — which was what all that right-doing and thinking was supposed to be for in the first place. (!!) 

  And so, when they met Jesus face-to-face —that exact God they were trying to serve— they missed Him.  AND were angry when He said that all their fine words and fabulous deeds and leadership were empty and worthless. They were; they had caused the Pharisees to miss God Himself among them, in the flesh.  The Point of all their focus and striving had come to meet them in their own world, and they tragically missed Him. 

  Let’s take care, friends, especially as we tell stories like these, of two faithful, humble women who really did things to honor and seek the Lord, not to slip into the ways of the Pharisees. 

  Let’s keep our eyes open for what God is doing, reflect any praise back to Him where it belongs so it will not poison or blind us, and offer up to Him what is honestly inside us, so He can make us whole, and make our joy complete. 

“You’ve got your best man on the front side, 

you always show your best side; 

but evil’s always on the other side. 

You say this is your strategy. 

But son, I hope you take it from me: 

You look just like your enemy. 

You’re full of pride. 

  ...We’d better trash our idols if we want to be 

in the army of the Lord. 

And the greatest idol is you and me;

we better get on the threshing floor. 

When will you learn God’s strategy 

is giving glory to the Lord? 

We’d better trash our idols if we want to be 

in the army of the Lord.”

                     (—Jason Upton, ‘Dying Star’)

“Painted on, life is behind a mask. 

Self-inflicted circus clown;

I’m tired of this song and dance. 

Living a charade, 

always on parade, 

what a mess I’ve made of my existence. 

But You love me even now, 

and still I see that somehow

 You see the real me. 

Hiding in my skin, broken from within. 

Unveil me, completely. 

I’m losing my grasp, 

there’s no need to mask my frailty,

 ‘cause You see the real me." 

                    (—Natalie Grant, ‘The Real Me’)

(Pictures and thoughts are my own, and should not be shared without permission.  Lyrics and quotes belong to their original owners and are added here for inspiration only.)

6 years running

  Today, this blog has been going for 6 years.  :)  And hopefully will be for many more, getting better with each one.

  In celebration of that, one of my perpetual favorite quotes, from Frederick Buechner;

  
  'It is a world of magic and mystery, of deep darkness and flickering starlight.

  
  It is a world where terrible things happen and wonderful things too. It is a world where goodness is pitted against evil, love against hate, order against chaos, in a great struggle where often it is hard to be sure who belongs to which side because appearances are endlessly deceptive.

  
  Yet... it is a world where the battle goes ultimately to the good... and where in the long run everybody... becomes known by his true name.

  
  ...It not only happened once upon a time but has kept on happening ever since...'

  
  
  'Anyone can sing in the sunshine.
         You and I should sing on when the sun has gone down or when the clouds pour out their rain, for Christ is with us.'
                                                                 --Anonymous

  

 (as always, pictures and quotes belong to their original owners, and are here only for inspiration.)       

Eternity Pieces --a thought

  A thought to contemplate for today...  Kind of in poetry form, but not totally.  Obviously I think about the subjects of eternity and beautiful things quite a bit.  ;)

 

  Eternity Pieces
                   --by Bree M. M. - written 9/29/14 

  Tiny pieces of our eternity
lost so long ago in Eden, when we decided that somehow
He must not really know best, and leaped at the chance
to try to be gods ourselves—
Those little flecks of the eternal world we were meant to enjoy;
the gold dust of what we shattered all that time ago;
Some of those little bits of paradise
still float through our world.

  We find them caught in raindrops and sunbeams
and light breezes and tossed back and forth on the oceans.

  Every time we find one -hidden in a sight or sound
or a special moment- we again taste Eternity—
We taste what we were made for, what we long for;
and it helps pull us on toward the new Eternity
our Maker is preparing for us,
when we'll finally fill that empty place
the little gold flecks soothe and irritate—
when we finally walk again with God.

 

 

(Pictures not mine -- each one belongs to its respective owner, as always.)

Living with your eyes open

  Something I've been thinking about over the last few months, and will certainly be working on for a long time...
                    
    Living with your eyes open...


  For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.
  Ever since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, even His eternal power and divine nature, have been understood and seen through the things that He has made.  So they are without excuse.
                                                                                                 Romans 1:19-20



        "You would not have called to Me
                 unless I had been calling to you,"
                                                said the Lion.
    ..."I see." [said Jill.]
             "Child," said Aslan, in a gentler voice than He had yet used, "perhaps
               you do not see quite as well as you think."
                                                                                                                      (—C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair)


     Let me tell you a very simple little story;
  Everywhere I go, I love to see God's craftsmanship in the things around me, and I thrive on marveling at every little place I see His fingerprints — it's part of what makes living in this world (broken though it is) so rich and beautiful.  Seeing God's endless creativity and genius.
  Still, I notice that all too often I fall into what I can only describe as looking so hard for God's hand at work that I totally miss what He is trying to tell me and teach me about Himself.  In short, I forget the 'be still' part of knowing that He is God.  Like listening so hard to how someone uses their voice and missing the words entirely.
  Several weeks ago, God really got my attention about this in a very simple, very true-to-who-God-is way.  I went for a jog/walk/hike-thing on some beautiful wooded trails just down the street from our house.  The weather was beautiful, the Black Forest scenery was lovely, as always, and I had one of those great (and all too rare) days where I felt so much energy deep inside and just needed to run in such a beautiful day.  (all you runner-types totally know what I mean! :) )
  Well, as I was jogging under all those pine trees, smelling the sunshine and listening to music, intent on enjoying such a grand example of God's handiwork in the warmth, the scenery, the music, and the joy and energy I felt all coming together, I missed exactly what I was looking for;  a bug landed on my arm and I quickly brushed it away out of habit.  A second too late, I realized that the tiny bug I had just brushed away had been the brightest, most vibrant shade of glittering emerald green I have ever seen anywhere.  I stopped running and just stood there, half stunned by the glimpse of such an amazing color and half hoping the bug would come back.

  I have no idea if the little creature I swatted off looked anything like the beetle in this picture, but it was the closest thing I could find — even though the color isn't nearly as brilliant as what I realized I barely saw.
  Needless to say, the rest of my walk I did a lot of hard thinking.  I had been so intent on seeing God where I expected Him that I brushed away something unexpected He sent to teach me about Himself.
  It reminded me very much of the song No Matter How Long, by Phillips, Craig and Dean.


  "I watched you as you stumbled out of bed;
Rushed out the door, your coffee in your hand.
And you looked so lost and lonely
I knew I had to find a way
to make you understand, I wanna be your friend.

  So I painted you a sunrise in the sky,
 and I caused the birds to sing you lullabies,
 and I whispered sweet "I love you's"
in the breeze that brushed your face—
You didn't even see.  You never noticed Me.

  No matter how long it takes, somehow I'll find a way.
No matter how far you run, there's no distance that's too great.
'Cause when the wind blows through the treetops
 and in the music of the rain,
 somehow My love will find a way—
No Matter how long it takes.

  I watched you as you fell asleep last night,
 and I trembled as I watched the tears you cried.
So I splashed your face with moonlight, and I longed for your embrace;
You never called My name.  I loved you just the same.


...My love will find a way,
 no matter how long it takes."

                                                        --Phillips, Craig & Dean, No Matter How Long
           (Note:  This song may be slightly incorrect in its theology in that it seems to portray God as somehow helpless in trying to get our attention, instead of how He is; gentle, long-suffering and patient with us when we're 'too busy' to see Him.  Nevertheless, it is still a beautiful, potent reminder that He is actively pursuing us in every moment of every day.)


  I don't know about you, but that song absolutely breaks my heart in its picture of how much God longs to tell us who He is, and how we miss nearly every word He says, even if we are looking for Him in other places.
  That brings to mind the words of another song;  Tenth Avenue North's By Your Side.


 "Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying—
Let me lift up your face.
Just don't turn away.

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching
 as if I'm not enough? ...I want to give you life. ...

 'Cause I, I love you—
I want you to know
 that I, yeah I'll love you;
I'll never let you go.

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall,
 in the dead of night whenever you call.
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you.
My hands are holding you."
                                                        —Tenth Avenue North, By Your Side



   (not my photo  [none of these are] - copyrights belong to original owners)
  So this is something I am working on in myself.  I am working on taking a deep breath and looking around — but with my eyes wide open;  learning to expect God to show up in unexpected ways.  I know it's going to take a while, but I don't ever want to be content to know God just as I know Him yesterday.  He is never-ending, and so my learning who He is should go on for that long as well — and how exciting to know that I'll never reach the end of Him!  I'll always be able to go 'farther up and farther in'.


  Slowly, I'm seeing a bit more of Him as I learn to let Him reveal Himself in His own way, at His own time.


  Recently, while on another jog/hike, I noticed up ahead what I thought might be a large Sphinx Moth fluttering around strangely.  So I made myself stop and stand still about five feet from it to find out what it was.  Turns out it was a hummingbird, buzzing about six or seven feet off the ground, catching one gnat after another in mid-air.  He kept at it for close to two minutes, and I stayed to enjoy his fascinating antics.  Definitely a beautiful moment I won't forget.


  A couple days ago (yup, on another walk :P ) I saw a chipmunk scampering wildly in and out and all over a pile of branches from someone cleaning a trail, as smoothly as if he were on flat ground.  (chipmunks aren't very common out here, so they're fun to spot)  His agility was quite something!  I couldn't even tell when he moved from one branch to another.  He just... did!





  And I'm trying to learn to keep my eyes open in other normal activities as well;  like remembering to look up at the stars on my way to and from feeding our animals at night.  (we live out where we can almost always see the Milky Way, so it's quite perfect for stargazing on any cloudless night.)  I want to train myself to take time to pause and really see all those stars on a regular basis — not just expect them to be there and hurry on with the list in my head.



  Have you experienced this in your life?  Is there something you know you missed, because you were so busy looking for God everywhere else you expected Him to be?


                          Are you living with your eyes open?

  "When I look into the mountains,
I see Your fame.
When I look into the night sky,
it sparkles Your name.

 ...When I look across the ocean,
 it echoes Your might.

  The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky;
The sun and the moon and the stars so high;
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea;
The air in my lungs and the way You made me.

The blood in my veins and my heart You invade;
The plants how they grow and the tree and their shade;
The way that I feel and love in my soul;
I thank You my God for letting me, letting me know—

I am, I'm captivated by You.
In all that You do,
I am, I'm captivated!"

                                                        —Shawn McDonald, Captivated

How do the seasons know?

  I have been recently very struck with this idea, this question of how the seasons know when it's time to move from Winter into Spring, from Summer into Autumn...  I mean sure, we can explain scientifically how the transitions happen; how this little chemical reacts to the weather which is changing due to... Yeah, scientifically.  But that's beside the point.  How do they know?

  All that 'scientific detail' stuff had to start somewhere -- and as Christ-followers, knowing the Creator of the universe (that 'single, spoken sentence') personally, we know that it started with Him.
  But it's that very moment of happening that's got me caught in an awestruck place of wonder; of breathlessness; of watching intently, unblinking, holding my breath so I won't miss anything.

  How stunning it is!  Everything doing exactly what it was created to in exactly the right ways at exactly the right moments, so that something like a symphony but a million, million times more complex, is surging through the air and rumbling through the ground every second around us!  I don't want to miss 'the rocks crying out' just because the world is hurrying on around me.
  So this is a moment of reflection on that all-too-little-considered command to
                   ...Know
                                       that I AM God.
                                                                      Psalm 40:31
 

   

   "Whisper the reason when the sun just had to wait--
And how do the seasons know exactly when to change?
 Who on earth could find a language or a line
or count the ways to best describe
the beauty found in Your design?

  No other One;
there is just no other like You.
No other One.
There is no one else but You.
It's in the way You wield the winds and calm the oceans,
it's who You are to me,
and there could never be another One."

                                             (--Rachael Lampa, No Other One)

  'The chief purpose of life, for any of us, is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks.'
                                                                         --J.R.R. Tolkien

  "The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky;
The sun and the moon and the stars so high.
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea--
The air in my lungs and the way You made me.

The blood in my veins and my heart You invade;
The plants how they grow and the tree and the shade;
The way that I feel and love in my soul--
I thank You my God for letting me, letting me know

I am-- I'm captivated by You,
In all that You do.
I am-- I'm captivated!"

                                             (--Shawn McDonald, Captivated)

  He made firm the skies above ...He established the fountains of the deep.  ...He assigned to the sea its boundary, so that the waters would not transgress his command...  He marked out the foundations of the earth...

                                                           Proverbs 8:28-29

 

  'In the darkness something was happening at last. A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction it was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. There was hardly even a tune. But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. It was so beautiful he could hardly bear it.

  ...Then two wonders happened at the same moment. One was that the voice was suddenly joined by other voices; more voices than you could possibly count. They were in harmony with it, but far higher up the scale: cold, tingling, silvery voices. The second wonder was that the blackness overhead, all at once, was blazing with stars. They didn't come out gently one by one, as they do on a summer evening. One moment there had been nothing but darkness; next moment a thousand, thousand points of light leaped out - single stars, constellations, and planets, brighter and bigger than any in our world. There were no clouds. The new stars and the new voices began at exactly the same time. If you had seen and heard it, as Digory did, you would have felt quite certain that it was the stars themselves which were singing, and that it was the First Voice, the deep one, which had made them appear and made them sing.

   "Glory be!" said the Cabby. "I'd ha' been a better man all my life if I'd known there were things like this."

   The Voice on the earth was now louder and more triumphant; but the voices in the sky, after singing loudly with it for a time, began to get fainter. And now something else was happening.

   Far away, and down near the horizon, the sky began to turn grey...
  The eastern sky changed from white to pink and from pink to gold. The Voice rose and rose, till all the air was shaking with it. And just as it swelled to the mightiest and most glorious sound it had yet produced, the sun arose.

  ...And as its beams shot across the land the travellers could see for the first time what sort of place they were in...  The earth was of many colours: they were fresh, hot and vivid. They made you feel excited; until you saw the Singer himself, and then you forgot everything else.

   It was a Lion. Huge, shaggy, and bright, it stood facing the risen sun. Its mouth was wide open in song and it was about three hundred yards away.

  All this time the Lion's song, and his stately prowl, to and fro, backwards and forwards, was going on. ...Though its soft pads made no noise, you could feel the earth shake beneath their weight.
  ...And Aslan was bigger and more beautiful and more brightly golden and more terrible than he had thought.'

                                                                               --'The Magician's Nephew', C.S. Lewis

  

  "A million bright and holy beams
 of a light that traveled far
 began the trip from His fingertips--
The wonder of the stars.
Affirming the signs and seasons,
 so silently they sing
 of the wonder of their Kindler,
 and the power of their King."

                                             (--Michael Card, Starkindler)

  See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and His arm rules for Him.  ...He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.
  Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?  Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed him as his counselor?
  Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten Him, and who taught Him the right way? Who was it that taught Him knowledge or showed Him the path of understanding?  Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; He weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.  ...To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare Him to?
  ...Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.

                                                                           Isaiah 40:10-15, 18, 28 

  'All Thy works with joy surround Thee,
earth and heaven reflect Thy rays--
Stars and angels sing around Thee,
Center of unbroken praise!

...Mortals, join this happy chorus
which the morning stars began--
...Field and forest, vale and mountain,
flowery meadow, flashing sea;
chanting bird and flowing fountain
call us to rejoice in Thee.'

                                             (--hymn, Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee)

Happy Valentine's Day

  On a day of chocolate and roses...



The origins of Vlaentine's Day are very much shrouded in mystery.  But the basic legend goes like this;

Valentine (Valentinus in Greek) was a priest in the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be imprisoned, and he was later put to death on February 14th.

Some versions of the story include that while Valentine was in prison, the prison jailer brought his blind daughter, Julia, to be educated by the very learned Valentine, who lead her and her family to faith in Christ. (some say he prayed over Julia, and she was healed from her blindness)

The legend goes that on the night before his death, Valentine wrote a letter to Julia and her family, encouraging them to stay strong in their new Christian faith, and signed the letter 'from your Valentine'.



"His love is deep, His love is wide, and it covers us.
His love is fierce, His love is strong, and it's furious!
His love is sweet, His love is wild, and it's waking hearts to life."

                                                              --Jeremy Riddle, Furious




"How do you sing about a love so deep,
without feeling like you missed something?
I could try, by I could not explain--

His kind of love is reckless for us;
His kind of love will never give up
till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love.
His kind of love!"

                                                              -Group1Crew, His Kind Of Love