Coming back to "normal" after Out of Egypt

 Whew, well, I think life is easing back to normal after having finally wrapped up the performances of 'Out of Egypt' with Fidele Youth Dance Company.  Since that has been occupying all my time, especially these last few months, I thought I'd share the brief "behind the show" overview I hashed out for the show's program, trying to share at least a little of my heart and how this show came to be.

  Hopefully more stories from my end of the development of this massive undertaking will follow here in the near future...  And maybe some final show pictures.

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The Story of This Story 

  As far back as I can remember, my favorite Biblical characters have always been Joseph, Moses, and Daniel.  I read their stories repeatedly, and I still love to hunt down archeological articles, radio dramas, sermons, documentaries, novels, anything even remotely related to them.  I’m captivated by the way each of these men -two of them at very young ages- learned to be courageous by trusting the Lord completely, and were used in powerful ways because they were faithfully looking to Him. 

Many hours of finding and piecing together music, and writing scenes. 

(and that beautiful notebook my sister made for me!)

  During most of my childhood, I was fascinated with all things Egyptian history, since Moses and Joseph lived out much of their stories in ancient Egypt.  I even started trying to learn to read and write hieroglyphics, though I never got terribly far with that...

  I was also already in love with dance.  My mom describes our home decor style from those years as something like Wide Open Space For Dancing-Classic.  We had a giant CD and record collection, and one record had a stage musical-style take on the story of Joseph; so I spent hours and hours dancing to and dramatically miming my favorite songs from that one on repeat in the living room.  (...of course usually dressed in fabulous blanket-and-fabric toga gowns I’d created.)

Starting some choreography with Mimi

  Then when I was about 6 years old, I saw my first in theater movie.  I was instantly captivated by Dreamworks’ The Prince of Egypt, playing out in one of my favorite settings, about one of my favorite people.  And I couldn’t quite grasp what moved me so deeply about that beautiful scene when God speaks to Moses from the Burning Bush.

  Not only is the story of Moses very well told, especially coming from secular filmmakers (and amazingly without trying to downplay or explain away the hand of God in the story!), but Hans Zimmer’s incredible score completely captured my little dancer heart.

A portion of costume fabrics waiting to be prepped.

  Once I got the soundtrack, The Prince of Egypt and that Joseph record were turned on to dance to constantly, for hours on end through the next years.  Sometimes I’d choreograph a little of what was in my head for The Burning Bush; things that reminded me of the golden angelic creatures the Lord later told Moses to craft on the top of the Arc of the Covenant. 

  Most often I’d dramatically choreograph Deliver Us, complete with props and costumes and fabric, cast my dancer friends in parts, then invite them over and try to get my grand imagination to come out in a full performance on my parents’ wide-open bedroom floor.  Unfortunately my friends were never as enthusiastic about it as I was... but getting dressed up in my colorful layered fabric-togas was still fun, even if we didn’t get far in the planned performance.  And I’d try it again another time.  Once my little brother was old enough to join in, I made him a pleated reversible tunic out of an oversized t-shirt, complete with detachable accessories, so he could be little Aaron and then switch to little Moses.  (I’m pretty sure I also put him in a laundry basket as baby Moses several times when he was smaller...)  He was happy to join in, and my sister was always game and loved dancing as little Miriam. 

More choreo with Moriah.

    

  Over the years, I wondered occasionally how I could put the full story of the Exodus on stage.  I saw one smaller dance company do a show based on The Prince of Egypt once, but nothing that captured what I was picturing.  I still loosely choreographed and thought through scenes in my head, but there it stayed.

  Last fall we were talking through ideas for Fidèle’s 2019 season, and I felt prompted to suggest this long-dormant idea, just in case.  When Mimi and Tina were all for it, I was definitely surprised.  And a little stunned.  It felt like it was the right time, but I suddenly wasn’t sure I was ready to pull this massive project together. 

Costumes for the Plague Leaders were one of a few select things

 I wanted to do myself.  How often do you get the opportunity to make

 something look awful on purpose?!

Pre-lining Pharaoh's coat.

  Around December 2018 I dove in headfirst.  Sifting through notes and ideas, finding and arranging and cutting music, thinking through sets and costumes, bouncing ideas off my wonderful siblings and my best friend Darcie, writing the scene-by-scene script notes, choreographing (more than half in collaboration with Mimi and with Moriah Swank — I’d work with you guys on anything!), building the Burning Bush (thanks for “Bushing” with me, Mimi!), sewing some of the costumes, etc. etc...  Fleshing out a dream I hadn’t really seen coming. 

  So many people supported me in so many ways as I’ve invested hundreds and hundreds of hours in what has been truly a labor of love.  I know I can’t thank them enough!

 

The Burning Bush during construction.

  Seeing this show come together has been a surreal experience.  At every step, there has absolutely been no way I could take credit for anything coming about as well as it has; God’s hand has been everywhere, and any concerns I’ve had have been met with solutions I couldn’t have dreamed up or forced to happen in a million years.

  There were still moments when my heart would fall, feeling totally unsure whether any of this made sense or would work outside my own head.  But those times were most quickly washed away by hearing people excitedly anticipating the story, and by these phenomenal dancers (and actors!) taking my little dream deeper and farther with their skill and passion than I could’ve hoped.

Inking Hieroglyphics on a prop -- definitely special 

when a childhood obcession with Egypt pays off!

  We hope you are engaged and encouraged by our take on a portion of this enormously epic part of history.  I hope you come away with a bigger picture of the power, tenderness, and patience of God, and knowing that He is not distant. 

—Ms Bree  

     And the Lord said: I have seen the oppression of My people in Egypt, 

and have heard their cry... and I have come down to deliver them 

out of the hand of the Egyptians. ...

                                                                              Exodus 3:7-8a 

  

  ‘We must tell stories the way God does, stories in which a sister must float her little brother on a river with nothing but a basket between him and the crocodiles. 

Stories in which a king is a coward, and a shepherd boy steps forward to face the giant. ...Stories with fiery serpents and leviathans and sermons in whirlwinds.… Stories with dens of lions and fiery furnaces… 

Stories with courage and crosses and redemption.  Stories with resurrections.’ 

                                                                                            —N.D. Wilson

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(all thoughts, pictures, etc. are my own.  Please do not use without permission.)

A Calling, not a Vocation

  I’m sure you, like me, have heard many times and in many different ways how we need to “shine”.  We hear often about how we need to let our talents shine, or let our light so shine before men, etc. etc.

  But before you can start pouring out light, you have to be plugged into the source were created for. 

 Think of each of us as lighting implements, like candles, lightbulbs, oil lamps, etc. You won’t give out the light you were created to by being plugged into the wrong power source; even if that thing is the most common thing out there that makes many other people shine. If you screw a candle into a lightbulb socket, how much light is it going to give off? What about if you light a lightbulb with a match; is it going to burn for hours? Or what about pouring oil all over a light bulb; is it going to suddenly light up and use that fuel like an oil lamp?

  Each of those elements is absolutely used to light up something. But connected to the wrong one, they might let off a spark, and possibly even keep burning for a little while, but ultimately they’ll go out. And probably be ruined for giving light in the future. 

  Similarly, if you’re not in tune with what YOU specifically were called to do, with the gifts and talents and personality and passions God gave you, you will not only not be giving off the light He intended you to, but you’ll also probably feel tired, rundown, frustrated, stuck.  Like wondering aimlessly because you don’t know where you’re supposed to go.

  God’s calling for you will never feel pointless; and even if it feels overwhelming or too big for you at times, it will keep lighting a fire in your soul that you can’t ignore or let go; it’ll give you chills and make your heart bold, and probably scare you and scare you into action at the same time.  As Mark Batterson puts it in his fantastic book, ‘Chase The Lion’:

  ‘If your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s too small.’ 

  Now don’t let that overwhelm you. God-given dreams are POWERFUL, beautiful, life-giving things.  Mark Batterson explains in another book of his, ‘Wild Goose Chase’:

  ‘Most of us will have no idea where we are going most of the time. And I know that is unsettling.  But circumstantial uncertainty also goes by another name: adventure.’

  And we all crave adventure in some way in our lives.  Adventure is a good thing, even when it moves us out of our comfort zones and expands our courage. 

  Just think what that “nasty, uncomfortable” adventure Bilbo Baggins had to go on in ‘The Hobbit’ did for him.  There were an enormous amount of terrible and dangerous moments throughout; the little Hobbit was right about that, and adventures do absolutely “make you late for dinner”. (!)  But through the whole ordeal, our dear, very timid, somewhat proud, really fearful Hobbit becomes a heartfelt friend, a merciful, cleaver, and discerning little warrior, and an inspiringly courageous hero.  He’s lost only a large portion of his selfishness and fear by embarking on his dangerous quest, and gained so very much more of all he was created to be.  (If only he’d continued to grow in that direction, and not held on to that Ring...)

  We are MADE to do great things and live great moments God has planned for each of us.  If we don’t, we grow fearful and selfish, and feel hopeless and aimless. 

  You HAVE to seek what you, and you alone, are made to bring to life.  What you are created to shine out with.  But that comes with it’s own dangers. 

 John Fornof put it this way: 

  “We have to give our dreams to God. Sometimes he won’t give them back [in the same way we originally had them]. But if he does, they will come back with all the fleshly-ness [selfish human-ness] ripped out of them.” 

  Yikes. And wow.  Now THOSE are the kinds of dreams —not the ones we come up with for ourselves, but the ones God plants deep inside us— that really DO change the world, and don’t just ride a minute of fame and then fade away. 

  Now, for that finding the right source to fuel your unique God-given dream; your calling. 

  So your calling is not the same as the dreams you have of the fun things you want to do or accomplish in your life. Dreams and accomplishments and bucket list goals may play into your calling, just like your skills, gifts, things that get you up the morning and inspire you, and things that frustrate you and break your heart, will all play into your calling, but are not your calling in and of themselves.

  You’ll really be discovering what your calling is with more and more clarity for all of your life. 

  Think of it like a mountain range far away. When you first see the range, it looks like one solid wall of mountains, all clumped together and connected. As you get a little closer, you realize that there are multiple colors and several layers, and some shorter, greener cliff heights start appearing in front of the mountains. Closer, and you realize that those are not even the first mountains or hills; there are more green slopes and some mountains before and behind those.  As you get among the first rolling green hills, you realize that there’s not one set of mountains back behind the next green heights; there’s actually three or maybe five different levels of mountains, and the farthest back ones have snow on top. And as you get over the green slopes, you can now see rivers and lakes and forests and misty places, and layers upon layers of mountains behind the ones you first saw, some bigger, some smaller than any of the ones you've first spotted long ago.

  Your calling goes on and on like that; you realize that there’s more to it and more playing into it, and more beautiful details and adventures involved than you ever could’ve first imagined from a long way off.

  Think of Shasta in 'The Horse and His Boy', seeing the tiny mountains far, far away across the expanse of the desert.  Then later, on the other side, he sees how many more there are, and later in among the foothills, still more, then more from high up on the passes, and on and on...  And not long before, he had only ever seen or imagined the fishy-smelling edge of the sea, and the old fisherman's hut.  Rather 'further up and further in', really.

  Ultimately, your calling is this:

to bring out and exemplify in many, many ways again and again, better and clearer and more beautifully, an aspect or two of God’s character, and how He calls us to Himself.

  Your calling is not a job, though it will probably have many jobs connected to it.  If your call is limited to a job or career, what would happen if you could no longer do that job?  Does that mean you no longer have a calling?  Absolutely not.  Your call is something else, something MUCH larger, and it may come out through many careers and different forms throughout your life. 

  Your calling is also not a single accomplishment or event God placed in your heart and you’ve held onto, or one you come up with for yourself. Though those may very well play into your calling too.

  Overall, the point for everything on earth is for man to know God.  That’s why He created the earth, created man, bothered to go through all the trouble to give us a free will so we can love Him for ourselves, and then bother to redeem us when we misused our free will, and on and on it goes. Everything made is so that we would know our God. (Which speaks volumes about how much He loves us!)  And that includes our callings. We are given them so that we will better know Him, and then help others better know that bit about Him. It’s the point of the universe.  And since He’s infinite, and our finite selves can never fully grasp even half of His whole Self, there’s an unending well of His beauty and majesty to draw and learn from. 

  If you had asked me what my calling was 15 years ago, or 10, or 5, or even 3, my answer would be always growing and becoming clearer.

  As of right now, I’m understanding that one of my calls is to encourage others to find theirs.  And I have another one, that’s frequently linked: to tell stories that bring people to wonder, and inspire courage in them.  And one or all of those come out, or are encouraged in me, again and again in all my passions and jobs in different ways and vocations; through dance, through teaching, through film, through writing, through time with friends...

  I want to challenge you (and always myself as well) to look at “what you want to do with your life” in light of this different view of a calling.  Not what job or college degree or accomplishment you want to go for.  But what is it about God that you are drawn to and moved by, that He has trusted you to communicate?

  Almost every time, that kind of perspective will help you discern what God has for each next moment of your life.  Which takes an enormous burden off of trying to “figure out” God’s will in other ways. 

  Hunt down your calling now. Every day. During all your activities. Your heart and soul will begin to find so much joy and passion and courage to move ahead.  Ask God specifically in prayer; and try asking Him out loud when you’re out where you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing you.  And look at what inspires you. 

  Notice what kind of stories move you. Preferably by reading loads and loads of books, or listening to books on tape whenever you can. Yes, movies are wonderful, and as a filmmaker, I love movies as much as any of you. Maybe more in some ways. But with movies we can often get caught up on things besides the story. So read a lot, whether to yourself, or having someone read to you, listening to audiobooks, audio dramas, etc. 

  But notice what stories, what characters, and what themes move you most. What your heart grabs on to. Those are very likely linked to your calling.

  Also read books like ‘Chase the Lion’, and ‘Wild Goose Chase’, and ‘Death By Living’.  Books that help you see the world as it is; brighter, deeper, fuller and more beautiful in detail than you ever realized, and help you think about life in a different way.

  As you plug in to what calling or “power source” you are made for, all your lights really start to turn on. Both inside and out. 

  There’s SO much I want to try to express and encourage you with as callings go.  But...there’s so much...!  So right now, remember that: 

  “Jesus didn’t come to just make us safe. He came to make us dangerous.”  —Mark Batterson 

and

  ‘Train [your children]. Give them sharp eyes and bellies full of laughter. Make them dangerous. Make them yeast, and when they’ve grown, they will pollute the shadows.’   —N.D. Wilson

  Your calling will absolutely do those things.

  Live boldly.

  Be dangerous.

  Go after what you are called to, and not just a job, a career, or a degree.

  And take the adventure. 

(Quotes belong to their authors.  Pictures and thoughts are my own.  Please do not share without permission.)